He’s a Shy Guy
People who are shy are often misunderstood. They’re perceived as being snobby or standoffish when they’re not. They’re simply not outwardly comfortable.
Texting is safe for a shy guy. He doesn’t have to risk rejection if he’s only texting you.
Texting is his safety net. He feels more comfortable tapping out a conversation than having one with you in person.
If your guy is a shy guy, you can ask him out. This increases his security because he now feels there’s less of a chance of rejection. As he gets to know you, he’ll come out of his shell, if you accept him for who he is and don’t push him too far too fast.
Why is He Texting Me if He’s Not Interested | He’s Worried About the Opinions of Others
He’s texting you because he likes you, but there’s a roadblock in advancing your relationship. He’s worried about what others will think.
This worry might come from how you met. Some folks don’t like to admit they met online while others worry about meeting at a place they don’t want to admit to, like a bar or club.
Another reason he might be afraid of other people’s opinions is if there’s an age discrepancy or you’re ethnically different. I once coached a woman whose husband was from Jamaica. Her family was from Portugal and not very accepting of not only racial differences but people from other countries.
Even though they both lived in the U.S., her family still held these beliefs. Under those circ*mstances, it would be difficult to share a love interest.
He’s Unsure of What You Want
Somewhere along the way, women were taught to be coy and elusive with men. This isn’t helpful because men don’t pick up on cues very well. Men need you to be a straight-shooter.
If he’s confused about what you want from the relationship, he’ll hold back to avoid rejection.
Being coy and elusive sends him mixed messages. One minute, you seem to be interested in him, then you spend a lot of time being aloof or vague.
It’s fine to be aloof with a guy if he loses interest or seems to be going rogue, but otherwise, don’t play games like that. Men are simply clueless to the whole thing and the message you’re trying to send is lost.
Why is He Texting Me if He’s Not Interested | He’s a Dating Rookie
Some men, especially young men, have limited dating experience. Even a man whose first relationship started when he was young but lasted a long time will be inexperienced.
He might not really know how to behave in a dating relationship. This doesn’t make him undesirable; it just makes him unsure of how to proceed.
Be patient with this type of man. He wants to date you, but he’s unsure of what his next move should be. You may need to guide this relationship a little and help him out. Provide him with obvious cues as to what you want.
“Hey, let’s go to a movie this weekend.” This way, he has come ideas of what to do next time.
While I encourage patience, don’t wait too long for this guy to get his dating sea legs. He should start to figure it out after a while. The guy who doesn’t probably needs to practice on someone else.
Why Is He Texting Me If He’s Not Interested and What to Do
How can you handle a guy who texts but seems disinterested? A lot of that answer depends on the reason for his actions. If he’s a player or using you for status or boredom busting, it’s time to exit the relationship. Although that’s not even right because you don’t really have a relationship with this type of guy.
If his issue is his own lack of security or confidence, you can try being patient with him. Guide him along and let him know you’re interested in him. Make the first move and see if he improves with time. If he doesn’t, you’re best off cutting your losses, but if he does, you’ve probably won yourself a loyal man.
You should be able to have an honest discussion with him about how you feel. Don’t be accusatory but let him know how his actions are impacting you. This won’t work for a player or a guy who’s using you for some reason that only positively impacts him. It will work for a guy who’s struggling with his emotions and insecurities.
Use “I” language. It’s much harder to dispute someone’s statement if it’s an “I” statement. For example, “Gregg, I feel like you want to do things together, but you never ask. It makes me feel as if you don’t really want to be with me.”
If you exit the situation and he’s not a player or a user, he may come to realize the loss of you in his life. In that instance, he might discover that he wants you back and will make a better effort to win you back.
Conclusion
The bottom line is that you deserve a guy who can pay attention to you and be there for you. If the guy you’re texting with right now isn’t that guy, it may be time to move on.
If a guy is texting you but doesn’t seem otherwise interested in dating you, the choice is yours on how to proceed.
Just make sure you don’t stay out of fear of being alone. Stay because you believe he has the potential to be a better guy and you want to see where it can go.
If you find that you’re in this situation too frequently, it might be time to try Riding Solo for a while.
