9 signs someone is deeply in love but hiding it, according to psychology (2024)

Love is not always as straightforward as we’d like it to be. It’s often shrouded in layers of mystery and intrigue.

You might know someone, or be that someone, who finds it hard to openly express love. Or maybe you’re just unsure if the feelings you’re experiencing are genuine love or just a fleeting infatuation.

How can you tell if someone is deeply in love but hiding it? Is there a way to decode these hidden emotions?

Drawing from my personal experiences and the insightful world of psychology, I’ve compiled a list of signs that could reveal under cover love.

1) Body language tells a tale

The human body is more honest than we give it credit for. It often reveals what we try to hide, especially when it comes to love.

You might notice that this person often maintains eye contact with you, leans in when you’re talking, or even mimics your gestures and speech patterns.

These are all subconscious signs that could indicate deep affection.

Keep in mind, though, that body language can vary greatly from person to person. What might be a sign of love for one person could just be a friendly gesture for another.

That’s why it’s crucial to consider these signs in the context of the individual’s usual behavior.

2) They keep you at arm’s length

This might seem counterintuitive, but sometimes, those who are deeply in love might actually push you away. It’s a defense mechanism, a way to protect oneself from the vulnerability that love often brings.

You might notice this person avoiding deep conversations, keeping things light and casual, or even distancing themselves after moments of closeness. These actions could be their attempt to mask the depth of their feelings.

Contradictory as it may seem, these distancing behaviors can signal an inner turmoil, a struggle between their fear of vulnerability and their deep-seated affection for you.

However, it’s important to approach this sign with caution. While distancing can sometimes indicate hidden love, it can also be a sign of disinterest or a lack of emotional availability.

Understanding the difference requires intuition, patience, and open communication.

3) They remember the little things

When someone is deeply in love, they tend to remember even the smallest details about the person they care about. This could be anything from your favorite ice cream flavor to a random story you once told them about your childhood.

This person might bring up these tiny details in conversation, or use this knowledge to surprise you with thoughtful gestures.

This isn’t just a sign of a good memory, but an indication of their deep emotional investment in you.

But remembering the little things isn’t exclusive to romantic love. It can also be a sign of close friendship or familial affection. The difference lies in the context and frequency of these behaviors, as well as the way they make you feel.

4) They are unusually nervous around you

Interestingly, the human brain behaves in peculiar ways when we are around someone we’re deeply in love with.

For instance, our adrenaline levels tend to rise, causing symptoms like increased heart rate, sweaty palms, and even a bit of nervousness.

If you notice that this person seems unusually anxious around you, it could be more than just shyness.

They might stumble over their words, fidget excessively, or display other typical signs of nervousness. These could be physiological responses to their hidden feelings for you.

That said, nervousness can also be a sign of discomfort or social anxiety. It’s crucial to understand the difference to avoid misinterpretation.

5) They are there in your darkest times

Life can be unpredictable, often throwing us into situations we never saw coming. In these moments of crisis and pain, it’s the people who stand by us that truly demonstrate the depth of their feelings.

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If this person has been there for you during your lowest moments, offering support and comfort without expecting anything in return, it could be a sign of deep hidden love.

They might not say it outright, but their actions speak volumes about their feelings for you.

Actions often speak louder than words. If someone is consistently present in your life, especially when things get tough, they might be cloaking a deeper affection towards you.

6) They speak about you to others

9 signs someone is deeply in love but hiding it, according to psychology (1)

You might think that someone hiding their deep feelings for you would avoid mentioning you to others, but it’s often quite the opposite.

They may frequently bring you up in conversations with their friends or family, even when it’s not directly relevant.

This is because when we are in love, our thoughts are often consumed by the person we care about.

Even when they try to hide it, your name might just slip into conversations more often than they realize.

But don’t jump to conclusions based on this sign alone. Speaking about someone frequently could also signify a close friendship or admiration.

7) They show genuine interest in your life

One of the most profound signs of hidden love is a genuine interest in your life. This person might ask about your day, your interests, your dreams, and your fears, showing an eagerness to understand you on a deeper level.

They might listen attentively when you speak, showing empathy and understanding.

You might notice them asking follow-up questions, showing they’re not just hearing, but truly listening to you.

If someone consistently shows a genuine interest in your life, it could be their heart’s way of expressing hidden love.

8) Understanding hidden love

Love, in all its forms, is multifaceted and complex. It can’t be confined to a checklist or a set of behaviors.

Every individual expresses love differently, guided by their personality, past experiences, and emotional makeup.

Some express it loudly and boldly, while others wrap it in layers of subtlety. It’s this diversity that makes understanding love both intriguing and complicated.

What’s more, distinguishing hidden love from deep friendship can be particularly challenging.

The line between platonic and romantic love can often blur, leading to confusion and misunderstanding. It’s crucial to navigate this territory with sensitivity and open communication.

It’s also worth remembering that hidden love can sometimes remain hidden for valid reasons. Fear of rejection, uncertainty about the other person’s feelings, or concern about damaging an existing friendship are all common reasons why someone might choose to hide their love.

9) Embracing self-love

Whether you’re trying to understand another person’s hidden feelings or grappling with your own, the journey begins with loving and respecting yourself.

When you love yourself, you set a standard for how you want to be treated. This understanding can be especially important when dealing with hidden emotions, yours or someone else’s.

If someone truly loves you, they will respect your feelings, your boundaries, and your well-being.

On the other hand, if you’re the one hiding your feelings, remember that self-love means acknowledging your emotions.

It’s okay to have feelings for someone, and it’s okay if they don’t feel the same way. Your worth is not defined by how someone else sees you, but by how you see and treat yourself.

9 signs someone is deeply in love but hiding it, according to psychology (2024)

FAQs

How do you know if someone loves you but is trying to hide it? ›

One of the most profound signs of hidden love is a genuine interest in your life. This person might ask about your day, your interests, your dreams, and your fears, showing an eagerness to understand you on a deeper level. They might listen attentively when you speak, showing empathy and understanding.

How does a man act when he is secretly in love? ›

When a man is secretly in love with you, he'll be genuinely interested in your life. Not just the big, exciting events, but also the mundane details of your daily routine. He'll want to know about that book you're reading, the project you're working on, or how your day went.

How to know if someone is secretly in love with you? ›

Flores told Business Insider.
  • They have fun with you even if the task at hand is not fun, per se. ...
  • They look at you ... a lot. ...
  • They pay more attention to you. ...
  • They show empathy — in good times and bad. ...
  • They remember the little things. ...
  • They introduce you to the important people in their lives. ...
  • They often mention the future.
May 29, 2018

Can you sense when someone is attracted to you? ›

Whether you're chatting via video or having an in-person date night, a person's body language is actually still a good way of determining whether or not they're into you. “If they like you, they'll hold eye contact, smile and there may be increased touch,” explains Lorna.

How to test if someone loves you? ›

You can usually recognize real love by these 12 signs.
  1. You feel safe with them. ...
  2. They listen. ...
  3. They acknowledge your differences instead of trying to change you. ...
  4. You can communicate easily. ...
  5. They encourage you to do your own thing. ...
  6. You trust each other. ...
  7. They make an effort. ...
  8. You know you can collaborate or compromise.
Oct 28, 2020

Can you feel if someone loves you? ›

The short answer? Yes. It is absolutely possible to get a sense of whether someone is in love with you based on physical and non-physical signs. “Usually, we sense this through their micro-expressions or behaviors,” says relationship expert Parisa Bady.

How can you tell if two people are attracted to each other but are trying to hide it? ›

To tell if two people are secretly dating, watch their body language. Unconscious mirroring, seeking closeness, and subtle touches can reveal a deeper bond. Around each other, they may seem nervous or extra aware, trying to maintain a certain image.

How do guys behave when they truly love you? ›

He won't play games but will give you a clear sign of how he feels. He will talk about his feelings and won't make big decisions without your input. He will prioritize your well-being over material possessions. He will be sure you feel comfortable around his friends—a guy likes to show off his woman if he loves her.

How does a man hint that he loves you? ›

A man who's falling in love can hint at his desire for greater closeness and intimacy in many different ways. You may notice that he's prioritizing you, opening up more, and working hard to make you happy. He might show you his softer side, while also serving as a source of strength and comfort when you need it most.

How does a man look at you when he loves you? ›

1) He locks eyes with you

When a man is in love, he won't be able to help but look you directly in the eye when he speaks. Long gone are the nerves that might have made him look away before, now he's comfortable with you and you'll see this through his eye-contact.

How do I know if he secretly has feelings for me? ›

There are many ways how someone who likes you can show this to you more or less “secretly”. Those could be little stealthy signs of body language: A lovely smile, a wink, a “heart”-sign with the hands or a fleeting caress of your hand or arm. It could also be the frequent use of your name with a caressing voice.

How do you tell if a man loves you but is scared? ›

Signs a guy has fallen in love but feels scared
  • He is hesitant. ...
  • He is afraid of rejection. ...
  • He went through a breakup. ...
  • He stares, then looks away. ...
  • He acts eager before acting distant. ...
  • Ask direct questions. ...
  • Be open about your emotions. ...
  • Know when it's time to take a step back.
May 1, 2024

How can you tell a man is falling in love? ›

He makes you a priority.

Now, he doesn't just say you matter. It's all about actions. He may have a busy schedule (as you do!), but he always comes through for you. He wants to spend time with you.

How do you know if someone has feelings for you or not? ›

1.1: Non-Verbal Cues

A smile, especially one that lights up his face when he sees you, can be a silent admission of his affection. Notice his physical proximity too. Does he lean in while talking to you or find reasons to be close? These subtle actions can be strong indicators of his feelings towards you.

How do you know if someone still has feelings for you? ›

Track how often your ex reaches out to you.

Your ex will probably find reasons to contact you if they're still interested. Check how often they call, text, or talk to you in person. Similarly, consider if they start the conversation back up after it has ended. This might be a sign they like you.

How can you tell if someone lost feelings for you? ›

If someone is losing interest in the relationship, they may become less engaged in conversations, spend less time with you, or show less enthusiasm. Pay attention to their actions and how they make you feel.

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