75+ Funniest Valentine Quotes to Tickle Your Funny Bone This Love Season (2024)

As the season of love unfolds, what better way to celebrate the whimsical dance of hearts than with a hearty dose of laughter? Welcome to the enchanting world of “Silly Valentine’s Day Quotes,” where love is not just a sentiment but a joyous journey filled with humor and merriment.

In this collection, we’ve shifted through the comedic treasures of affection, curating a selection of funny Valentine’s Day lines that will not only make you smile but will also serve as the perfect companions for those looking to infuse their Valentine’s Day with a touch of lightheartedness.

Funny valentine quotes

In a world that often takes itself too seriously, infusing the season of love with a hearty dose of laughter is refreshing. Enter the realm of the funniest Valentine quotes that promise to tickle your funny bone and add a playful twist to this special occasion. In this delightful journey through the lighter side of love, we will explore a collection of funny Valentine’s Day lines that capture the essence of romance with a side-splitting punchline.

1. “Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably crap.” – Marilyn Monroe

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2. “Valentine’s Day is the day when you remember that Cupid was a lousy shot.” – Milton Berle

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3. “I’m not saying my wife’s a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.” – Bob Monkhouse

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4. “I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner

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5. “Men always want to be a woman’s first love – women like to be a man’s last romance.” – Oscar Wilde

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6. “I asked my wife, ‘Will you still love me when I’m old and bald?’ She said, ‘I do.'” – Anonymous

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7. “I love you like a Hobbit loves a second breakfast.” – Unknown

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Also Read: Hug Day Quotes

8. “Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.” – Unknown

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Check Out – Easy Tips To Propose A Guy

9. “I wish love were like volleyball, you call ‘mine’ and everyone backs off.” – Unknown

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Also Read: Awkward Valentine’s Day Stories

10. “My love life is like a romantic comedy except there’s no romance and it’s just me laughing at my own jokes.” – Unknown

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11. “Valentine’s Day: when a card just isn’t enough to say, ‘I’m sorry your ex was an idiot.'” – Demetri Martin

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12. “I love you more than a pizza delivery on a rainy day.” – Unknown

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13. “I love you with all my belly. I would say heart, but my belly is bigger.” – Unknown

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14. “Love is sharing your popcorn.” – Charles Schultz

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Also Read: Kiss Day Quotes For Love

15. “Valentine’s Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid is.” – Unknown

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Also Read- Best Valentine’s Day Gifts For Wife

16. My wife says I only have two faults: I don’t listen and something else.” – Anonymous

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17. “Love is like an onion; you peel it off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.” – Carl Sandburg

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18. “I love you like a cat loves ignoring me when I call its name.” – Unknown

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19. “True love is waking up next to your partner and thinking, ‘I could murder a sandwich.'” – Kris Wheatley

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20. “Valentine’s Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don’t have a special someone, you’re alone.” – Lewis Black

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Check Out – How to Propose to Your Girlfriend

Hilarious Valentine’s Day Quotes

Amidst the sea of sentimental gestures during Valentine’s Day, there exists a treasure trove of hilarity that often goes unnoticed. Enter the realm of hilarious Valentine’s Day quotes—a celebration of love wrapped in laughter, proving that even Cupid has a mischievous sense of humor. In this whimsical exploration, we’ll delve into a collection of side-splittingly funny Valentine’s Day quotes that redefine the way we perceive Valentine’s Day.

21. “The heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing.” – Blaise Pascal

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22. “Love is an endless mystery, for it has nothing else to explain it.” – Rabindranath Tagore

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23. “Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.” – Lynda Barry

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24. “True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen.” – Francois de La Rochefoucauld

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25. “I think, therefore I’m single.” – Liz Winston

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26. “Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” – Robert A. Heinlein

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27. “Love is the only kind of fire which is never covered by insurance.” – Harlan Miller

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28. “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” – Charles M. Schulz

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29. “Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.” – Lynda Barry

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Check Out- Valentine’s Day Celebration Ideas

30. “The brain is the most outstanding organ. It works for 24 hours, 365 days, right from your birth until you fall in love.” – Sophie Tucker

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Also Read: Happy Promise Day Quotes

31. “Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.” – Albert Einstein

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32. “Love is a grave mental disease.” – Plato

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33. “Love is an endless mystery, for it has nothing else to explain it.” – Rabindranath Tagore

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34. “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” – Mignon McLaughlin

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35. “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” – Oscar Wilde

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Also Read: Anti Valentine Day Cards

36. “Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.” – Joan Crawford

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37. “Love is a game that two can play and both win.” – Eva Gabor

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Also Read: How Countries Celebrate Valentine’s Day

38. “Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.” – Woody Allen

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39. “Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?” – H. L. Mencken

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Also Read: Valentine Day Poem

40.“I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell my children that, they just about throw up.” – Barbara Bush

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Silly Valentine’s Day Quotes

Amid roses, chocolates, and heartfelt cards, there exists a rich tapestry of hilarity that adds a touch of mirth to the season of love. Welcome to the uproarious world of silly Valentine’s Day quotes, where Cupid’s arrows come with a side of laughter and the language of love is fluent in wit. These Valentine’s Day Funny quotes are poised to be the stars of your special day celebration.

41. “Love is an ocean of emotions, surrounded by expenses.” – Thomas Dewar

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42. “Love is like pi – natural, irrational, and it goes on forever.” – Lisa Hoffman

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43. “Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.” – Natasha Leggero

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44.“If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they’re yours; if they don’t, make them a snack.” – Unknown

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Also Read – Things to do as singles on v day

45. “The four most important words in any marriage: ‘I’ll do the dishes.'” – Unknown

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46. “I love you more than my dog, and that’s saying a lot.” – Unknown

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47. “Love is an emotional roller coaster, but marriage is the theme park.” – Unknown

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48. “My wife says I only have two faults: I don’t listen and something else.” – Anonymous

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Also Read: Reasons Being Single on Valentine’s Day

49. “Valentine’s Day is the day when you remember that Cupid was a lousy shot.” – Unknown

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Also Read: Happy Rose Day Quotes

50. “My love for you is like a candle – it may go out, but I’ll still use the wax to make you hot.” – Unknown

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51. “Love is like a WiFi signal – it might be there, but you can’t always connect.” – Unknown

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52. “I love you more than my bed, but please don’t make me prove it in the morning.” – Unknown

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53. “Love is like an awkward hug – uncomfortable but you just go with it.” – Unknown

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54. “I love you like a nerd loves their comic book collection.” – Unknown

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55. “Love is telling someone their jokes aren’t funny but making them feel good about it.” – Unknown

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56. “My love life is like a romantic comedy, minus the romance and just me laughing at my own jokes.” – Unknown

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57. “Love is sharing your popcorn, but refusing to share your fries.” – Unknown

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58. “I love you more than a cat loves a laser pointer.” – Unknown

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59. “Valentine’s Day is the only day I can get away with eating all the chocolate I want. Wait, that’s every day.” – Unknown

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60.“Love is being together through both the good hair days and the bad ones.” – Unknown

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Witty Valentine’s Day Quotes

This celebration of love takes a different route, where laughter accompanies affection, and cleverness becomes the language of endearment. So, join us as we embark on a journey through the corridors of humorous Valentine’s Day quotes, where love is not only expressed but celebrated with a sparkle in the eye and a quip on the tongue. These witty Valentine quotes offer a breath of fresh air, challenging the conventional notions of romance with a playful twist that is bound to resonate with those who appreciate the art of linguistic charm.

61. “I love you more than my phone, and that’s saying something.” – Unknown

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62. “I asked my cat if it would be my Valentine. It walked away. Guess that’s a ‘no’.” – Unknown

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63. “Love is like a snowflake – it’s beautiful but melts away quickly.” – Unknown

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64. “I love you more than Netflix loves asking if you’re still watching.” – Unknown

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65. “Valentine’s Day: the one day when people who are single get to say, ‘I told you so.'” – Unknown

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66. “Love is like a roller coaster – thrilling, but sometimes you feel like you’re going to throw up.” – Unknown

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67. “I love you more than a dog loves chasing its own tail.” – Unknown

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68. “Valentine’s Day is the day we remember who really loves us – the credit card company.” – Unknown

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Also Read: Things to Try With Your Partner

69. “Love is like a selfie – sometimes you have to retake it a hundred times to get the perfect shot.” – Unknown

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70. “I love you more than a kid loves their favorite toy. Well, almost.” – Unknown

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71. “Love is like a pizza – good even when it’s bad.” – Unknown

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72. “Valentine’s Day is the only day it’s acceptable to like your own Facebook posts.” – Unknown

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73. “Love is like a fine wine – it gets better with age, and sometimes it gives you a headache.” – Unknown

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74. “I love you more than a squirrel loves nuts.” – Unknown

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75. “Valentine’s Day is the day to remind your partner that you still know how to use a pen.” – Unknown

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76. “Love is like coffee – hot, strong, and sometimes a little bitter.” – Unknown

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77. “I wanted to make it special on Valentine’s Day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours, I watched whatever I wanted on TV.” – Tracy Smith

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78. “Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you’re looking for a club and a spade.” – Unknown

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79. “Love is an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.” – Jules Renard

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80. “My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then, we met.” – Rodney Dangerfield

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Also Read: Singles Can Do These Things On Valentine’s day

Explore the humor in love with these funniest Valentine’s quotes.

75+ Funniest Valentine Quotes to Tickle Your Funny Bone This Love Season (2024)

FAQs

What is a cool quote for Valentine's Day? ›

Cute Valentine's Day Quotes
  • “I love you in the morning and in the afternoon. ...
  • “Life is full of lots of things that make it all worthwhile, but none is better than your little smile.” — ...
  • “Know what I like about you? ...
  • “You will forever be my always.” —
Jan 5, 2024

Will you be my Valentine quotes? ›

30 Romantic Valentine's Day Quotes (You'll Love)
  • For me, every day with you is Valentine's Day.
  • Your smile sets my heart on fire.
  • Words can't describe my love for you, so I made you a video!
  • You and me are meant to be.
  • My heart is found wherever you are.
Jan 9, 2024

How do you wish a husband a heart touching Valentine's Day? ›

Valentine's Day wishes for husband
  • You are my love my dearest husband. ...
  • You are the most handsome and romantic husband. ...
  • I fall in love with you every single day. ...
  • You are the man of my dreams and a very supportive husband. ...
  • You are the best husband and may our love continue to grow every day.
Feb 14, 2024

What is a funny Valentine catchphrase? ›

Funny Valentine demonstrates the ability to pierce and shotgun a can of beer; much like Jotaro during his introduction in Stardust Crusaders. Valentine's catchphrase "Dojyaaa~~n!" literally means "Tada!" in Japanese.

What is the best verse for Valentine's Day? ›

Top Valentine's Day Bible Verses

1 Corinthians 13:4-8: Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.

What is a short sweet Valentine quote? ›

You are beautiful inside and out and I'm so lucky to be yours. You're my forever love and I'm so grateful to have found you. Be mine today, tomorrow and forever. You give my heart peace.

What is the best message for Valentine's Day? ›

Valentine Messages For Lover
  • You're sweet, strong, smart and sexy. ...
  • Every time I'm with you, the room gets a whole lot hotter.
  • You are my lover, my partner, my inspiration, my best friend, my one and only, my life. ...
  • From the first touch in the morning to the last kiss at night, I love every little romantic thing we share.

What is the best love quote? ›

Short Love Quotes
  • “Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.” – ...
  • “You call it madness, but I call it love.” – ...
  • “We can only learn to love by loving.” – ...
  • “A life lived in love will never be dull.” – ...
  • “Life is the flower for which love is the honey.” – ...
  • “All you need is love.” – ...
  • “True love stories never have endings.” –
Apr 26, 2023

What is a small sentence for Valentine? ›

You're my love, my best friend, my forever Valentine. I'm so happy we're a thing. My heart belongs to you, now and always.

What is a romantic Valentines Day quote? ›

Valentine's Day only comes once a year, but every day you fill my life with joy. Thank you for all you do in our relationship! No matter where I go, the warmest place will always be in your arms. Sweetheart I love you today, tomorrow, and forever after.

What is a lovely message to send to my husband? ›

Romantic Messages For Your Husband
  • Since the time I've met you, I cry a little less, laugh a little harder, and smile all the more, just because I have you, my life is a better place.
  • Every day with you is a wonderful addition to my life's journey.
  • You are my happily ever after.
May 4, 2024

What can I write to my husband on Valentine's Day? ›

Valentine's Day Messages For Husbands
  • Thank you for filling my life with so much love, happiness, and excitement. ...
  • Even after all this time, you still make me laugh, give me butterflies and make me fall in love with you a bit more each day. ...
  • It's so great to have fallen in love with my best friend in the world.
Jan 5, 2024

How do you write a not cringe Valentine's Day card? ›

Here are a few ideas on what to write:
  1. I love that you're my Valentine!
  2. Muah! Happy Valentine's Day!
  3. I was never a fan of this holiday until meeting you, my sweet Valentine.
  4. I've loved getting to know you and spending time with you. Happy Valentine's Day!
Feb 14, 2024

What do you say on Valentine's Day card? ›

Simple Valentine's Day Messages
  • You and me were meant to be.
  • You make me smile!
  • I love you to the moon and back!
  • Being yours is a dream come true. Happy Valentine's Day!
  • I love you just the way you are!
  • I love you THIS much!
  • I still fall in love with you every day.
  • I didn't choose you, my heart did.
Jan 8, 2024

What is funny Valentine's motivation? ›

Valentine has also demonstrated that he is an absolute patriot to his country, as his motive to get the Corpse parts is deflect any and all misfortune in the United States to a different spot in the world and ensure that the United States is the greatest country on Earth.

What do you write in a Valentine's Day card for cheeky? ›

Cheeky Valentine's Day messages
  • I've always dreamed of spending Valentine's Day with the love of my life – but you'll have to do for now.
  • Some might call being with you winning the jackpot, but I'd probably rather have the money.
  • You're on my to do list this Valentine's Day.
Jan 25, 2021

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