50+ Best Funny Quotes for Your Day & Social Media (2024)

by Leah from Picta

UPDATED: Mar 25, 2024

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED: Mar 25, 2024

Reading time: 6 minutes

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Laughter Is the Best Medicine

LOL, LMAO, ROFL, LQTM for the more discrete, however you say it, we all love a good laugh! And what better way to brighten someone’s (or your own!) day or add a pop of humor to your Instagram feed than a classic funny quote! We’ve collected over 50 lol-worthy quotes, perfect to be used in a Get Well Soon card, as part of that oh-so fire selfie that needs an equally amazing caption, or in a scrapbook (yes, it is still trendy!).

These funny quotes from pop culture to famous people saying famous things are the perfect addition to a card. We’ve even included some funny birthday quotes to go in a card (we’ve just launched some new designs on the Picta website! Simply upload your photo, add in the text, and your card is ready in less than an hour - that’s less time than it takes to watch your favorite Netflix stand-up comedy special!

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Unforgettable Funny Quotes for All Occasions

Classic Comedic Gems

These classic funny quotes from some classic funny people sure had me lqtm (laughing quietly to myself) as I wrote this article:

1. "I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious." — Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office
2. "Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes." — Jim Carrey
3. "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying." — Oscar Wilde
4. "I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member." — Groucho Marx
5. "Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children." — Sam Levenson
6. "The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice cream." — Bill Murray
7. "Life is hard. After all, it kills you." — Katharine Hepburn
8. "Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back." — Oscar Wilde
9. "The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets." — Al McGuire
10. "My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them." — Mitch Hedberg

Modern-Day LOLs

Step into the 21st century with these more recent funny quotes!

1. "My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that." — Stewart Francis
2. "I'm not insane. My mother had me tested!" — Sheldon Cooper (Jim Parsons), The Big Bang Theory
3. "Why is it called 'rush hour' when nothing moves?" — Robin Williams
4. "I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure." — Unknown
5. "I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it." — Unknown
6. "My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry." — Unknown
7. "I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!" — Unknown
8. "I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug." — Unknown
9. "If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments." — Flip Wilson
10. "I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done." — Steven Wright

Pop Culture Funny Quotes

From movies to tv shows and more, these funny quotes and sayings from popular media are the best!

1. "'Greater good?' I am your wife! I'm the greatest good you're ever gonna get!" — Honey Best (Kimberly Adair Clark),The Incredibles
2. "It’s not a man purse. It’s called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one." — Alan (Zach Galifianakis), The Hangover
3. "I'm not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?" — Chandler Bing (Matthew Perry), Friends
4. "I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort." — Zach Galifianakis
5. "I’m not like a regular mom, I’m a cool mom!" — Mrs. George (Amy Poehler), Mean Girls
6. "There’s no crying in baseball!" — Jimmy Dugan (Tom Hanks), A League of Their Own
7. "According to the map, we've only gone 4 inches." — Harry Dunne (Jeff Daniels),Dumb and Dumber(1994)
8. "It's so weird being my own role model." — Mindy Lahiri (Mindy Kaling), The Mindy Project
9. "If I'm not back in five minutes, just wait longer." — Ace Ventura (Jim Carrey),Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
10. "That's what she said." — Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office

Punny Quotes

As a firm believer of puns, these wordplay quotes (or Dad jokes, no judgment) are sure to get a chuckle, or at least a loud exhale out of your audience!

1. "I'm reading a book on the history of glue – can't put it down."
2. "I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy."
3. "Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint!"
4. "I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already."
5. "Atheism is a non-prophet organization."
6. "I don't trust stairs because they're always up to something."
7. "I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places."
8. "I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands."
9. "When you have a bladder infection, urine trouble."
10. "I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!"

Party Humor: Funny Birthday Quotes

Add these funny birthday quotes to one of our Picta cards and the birthday girl or boy is sure to have a good laugh!

1. "Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying you."
2. "You're not old, you're vintage!"
3. "At least you're not as old as you will be next year."
4. "If you remember how much you drank last night, you didn’t have enough."
5. “Here's to getting as lit as the candles on your cake today!”
6. “Older? For sure. Wiser? Not so much!”
7. “Is it hot in here? Must be all the candles on your birthday cake.”
8. “Happy Birthday to someone who is comparable to fine wine and cheese. You just get better with age, lady!”
9. “It’s better to be over the hill than under it.”
10. “You definitely don’t look a day older than the age you tell people you are.”

And there you have it folks, our collection of some funny and silly quotes to brighten your mood! I won’t quit my day job to become a stand-up artist so what you do with them is up to you!